Turning Inward

“By its very nature the mind is outward-turned; it always tends to seek for the source of things among the things themselves; to be told to look for the source within is, in a way, the beginning of a new life.” —Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

If there is, in fact, a “new life” waiting for us, what does it mean to reverse the “outward-turned” mind? It is, perhaps, conceptually challenging (the mind has a hard time grasping the mind), but in practice, the direct experience is relatively straightforward, yet incredibly profound.

Our normal, conditioned experience of being in the world is that of a “me” looking outward, knowing the external world via sense perceptions (e.g., sight, sound, touch). In addition, we can recognize that there is this experience of the world and there is an awareness of having the experience. That is, there is a self-conscious witness “behind” the experience.

To look within, then, is to look for the witness; the source of knowing.

To contemplate this is to embrace stillness and become intimately familiar with the processes of the mind. We discover that, just as an “external” sense perception (e.g., the sight of a tree or the sound of a car) can be the object of attention, so, too, can an “internal” thought, feeling, or emotion. When quiet, we experience the appearance of thoughts within the space of awareness as words (the inner voice) and images. It becomes clear that there is, seemingly, an "I" who thinks and a "me" who observes it. Curious.

I remember a specific moment where this insight was pronounced: I had an idea (i.e., a thought) to do something work-related and remarked to myself: “Oh, that’s a good idea; I should do that.” This left me wondering, who had the idea and who was surprised to learn about the idea? And which one am I?

Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual teacher and author, had a more dramatic realization when contemplating suicide: “I can’t live with myself anymore,” which triggered the question, “Who is this ‘I’ who can’t live with ‘myself’?”

These questions start to open us to a deep introspection.

By placing our attention on thoughts as they arise, it becomes clear that they emerge out of no-where, on their own. It’s not so much that we have thoughts, but, rather, that we are being thought by the involuntary process of the mind. Further, when we investigate a thought, we find that it’s ephemeral and dissolves in the light of awareness; it has no intrinsic substance. Importantly, when we give this attention to the mind, we quickly get a sense of its incessant and tiring nature, and that we’re incapable of quieting it. In fact, this is where many meditators get caught up: psychological suffering tends to increase with this awareness, as they’ve become more in-tune with the bothersome voice in their heads. This is, however, “progress.”

It’s worthwhile to pause to distinguish between two modes of thought: one is the intentional “tasking mode” in which we use our rational mind directed at something specific; and the other, which is the topic herein, is the “default mode,” that runs its own program without conscious attention. It’s the latter within which we are typically caught up, and therefore identified with and reactive to.

Through this burgeoning insight into the nature of mind, we may distance ourselves from the internal narrative that is heavily skewed towards negativity, and observe the thoughts for what they are: the spontaneous arising of mind activity. That’s not to suggest that nothing of value comes out of involuntary thought; indeed, it is often unconscious processing that gives rise to our most creative insights. But this creativity is unleashed through stillness of the mind; it can't be heard over the noise of the interminable thought stream.

Taking if further, the direct experience that will follow on from this equanimous attention to the mind is an awareness of the gap between thoughts, which may serve as the foundation for further awakening.

As Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj taught: “The pictures come and go—light intercepted by ignorance. See the light and disregard the picture.” To use another analogy: thoughts are like the rippling waves of the ocean, coming and going. Regardless of the turbulent nature of the surface, we can always rest in and as the stillness of the depths.

This is turning inward: the simple act of recognizing the mind’s activity, manifested as thoughts, and removing our identification with them. This changing of our “inner” experience is the start of a dramatic shift in our “outer” experience. The beginning of a “new life.”

“True happiness can only be born from what is real and permanent. And what is real stems from inner fulfillment.” —Sri Prem Baba