Is It Here Yet?

We all have a strong built-in desire for life to deliver us freedom from unwanted conditions. We have this notion that, at a certain point—and the sooner the better—life is meant to leave us alone; that everything should unfold exactly as we want it to. If we get everything we think we want, then and only then will we be in harmony with life, free of the problems that keep getting in the way of really living. However, this place of attainment and ease always seems to be somewhere in the future, always waiting for us after one final problem is solved.

Alan Watts, the wonderful “Spiritual Entertainer” and philosopher, has an illuminating anecdote along these lines:

We enter grade school eager to progress through the grades; every year we’re getting “closer.” We start high school and begin working towards the next step. You can feel it “coming”! College arrives and we see the light at the end of the tunnel—we’ll soon be entering the “real” world. That must be it! We land a job and we have performance metrics to hit. Once those targets are hit, we’ll get that promotion and buy the big house. Then it’s going to be it; it must be right around the corner! And then the sweet relief of retirement comes. Surely this is now it! But we’re too burnt out to enjoy it, or don’t know what to do with our newfound time.

And so you wonder what it is you’ve been sold; what is this elusive it that we’re trying to get to?

A perfect life situation is merely a thought, a conception of the mind with no foundation in reality; no human in history has actualized this kind of life.

Not only is the aspirational state of an idealized life created by the mind, but the problems keeping us from realizing this state arise out of the very same mind; a product of the persistent internal narrative. No question, life is filled with a variety of challenges along a spectrum of severity—from frustrating (e.g., a flat tire) to extreme (e.g., a terminal diagnosis). Challenges, however, necessitate action in the moment (there is, after all, no other time for action); whereas problems are our minds’ incessant churning of challenges into past and future contexts.

It’s a profound realization: this it, this ultimate point of arrival, never comes. In fact, it was missed all along. To borrow, again, from Alan Watts: the point of music is the music itself; the point isn’t to get to the end of the song. Similarly, the point of life is life itself.

As Stephan Bodian suggests in Beyond Mindfulness, “… end your constant struggle to get reality to live up to your expectations for security and comfort—and shift instead to an intuitive sense of flow with the ongoing current of life.”

It’s the challenges and unexpected—and often unwanted—circumstances that make life worth living, and through which we realize our potential, and yet, a potential that is never fully realized. Life is a process that never arrives.

Embrace the imperfection, because it’s what is, and so it’s perfect in this moment.